If you are trying to raise kind and confident kids
If you're trying to get a better sense of your child's life at school, the following open-ended questions could benefit your kids, and other kids. The more we engage our kids in these kinds of conversations that benefit them and even their peers, the better they will feel mentally and emotionally, and the more pleasant social interactions that will occur.
Did you understand everything you were taught today?
Some children struggle to ask for help and this can affect their performance at school. If your child did not understand something, you want to follow up on whether they asked for help, and frame seeking help as a good thing.
How did you spend your time at recess?
This can give you insight into the way your child likes to play, who their friends are, and if they had any struggles. The more interested your child feels you are in their friends and what they do, the more eager they are to share about their time in school. And the more they share with you, the more you can help them navigate their social interactions.
Is there anyone in your class that is different?
If they say no, cool! If they say yes, you want to understand what your child sees as different. You also want to have a conversation around what makes them different to your child, as well as how your child relates to them. The point here is to use this conversation as a way to promote kindness and inclusion.
Were you unkind to anyone?
Ask this question in a calm and non-judgemental way. Children will conveniently omit information about them being unkind. This explicit question might lead to answers that can help you guide them. Also, when they know that this question is of interest to you, it can influence behaviour so they can truthfully answer "no".
Was anyone unkind to you?
Many children find themselves processing feelings on their own, which can be detrimental. A problem shared is a problem halved. When your child is able to talk to you about even the micro moments that bothered them, they could feel less burdened. It also gives you the opportunity to encourage them to confidently speak up, help them see things differently, or talk to them about how to handle it.